Planet Waves by ERIC FRANCIS

For the Week of Jan. 1, 1999

Please pardon the boring-looking page...

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If I were an ARIES (March 21-April 19) I would -- be grateful that I did not get crushed by the weight of my own secret pessimism last year, and be happy that even though I had matured so gracefully by bravely facing the challenging experiences that caused me to finally take my life so much more seriously, I remember how to act with the impetuous glee, mischief and the just-miffed-enough iconoclastic audacity of a teenager, not to mention maintain the utterly incomprehensible powers of concentration derived from thinking with little other than my crotch. 1999 will be the year of the freight train and the long-term investment.

If I were a TAURUS (April 20-May 20) I would -- be guardedly optimistic that my worst fears were not about to come true, and be filled with some degree of conditional, cautious faith that the recent glimpses I've had of how my life could be if I got my psychological act together, rather than being a self-inflated delusion of some kind, were indeed representative of an authentic potential that I could actualize by doing that much more work on myself, but would secretly know I can attain merely by changing my attitude. 1999 is the year of the mountain pass and the door in the wall.

If I were a GEMINI (May 21-June 20) I would -- be thrilled that I was in a stable moment of my life and exhilarated that I was allowing my philosophy of existence to be deeply influenced by some kind of optimistic but hardly realistic vision that I would normally scoff as irrational, unsubstantial and overly presumptuous (even though I usually give the outward impression of being fully snapped into the positive-manifestation groove while silently harboring thoughts that this is all pointless), yet would not quite yet be making the connection between my more positive viewpoint and the fact that my life is so much better. 1999 will be the year of learning power from my fears and letting the big be big, and the small be small.

If I were a CANCER (June 21-July 22) I would -- have undaunted faith that all the hours, days, weeks, months, years and/or decades that I had invested in doing what I know in my deepest heart to be the right and true thing in that moment, which is the only moment there is, were not only about to blossom into something brilliant, new and wild for me, but were also about to emerge into the global sphere of consciousness as the only sane and sensible way to live, which would not only reassure me that the world was waking up to the reality of its imminent salvation and freedom, but also allow me a little time off because other people around me would actually be living in the light of truth. 1999 will be the year of public recognition and knowing who my friends are.

If I could be a LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) I would -- be ready for freedom because the entire freaking universe would be creaming, reaming and screaming in an ecstatic frenzy that NOW IS THE TIME THAT I MUST WAKE UP to the reality that I am the blazing fire at the center of my life, and that while the clouds may roll in for a moment, nothing can dampen the eternal burning of the Sun, neither anywhere nor at any time, and yet the Sun, to be what it is, needs the Earth to shine on and dark space to illuminate. 1999 will be the year of the revolution and the endless moment of invention.

Were I a VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22) I could -- be suddenly filled with the reality that I want to exist outside of structure and stricture, while experiencing the deep understanding that I personally contain the Universe, that the past is contained in the future, that the future is contained in the past, and that every moment is available at this moment, so therefore, there really is nowhere to go, but if I want to go anywhere, that is perfectly available to me merely by making a decision to do so. 1999 will be the year of discovering my ancestry, and of my becoming the flower of my lineage.

If I were a LIBRA (Sep. 23-Oct. 22) I would surely -- be an uncontainable ball of fire and rage and loving every second of this delicious, explosive passionate creation and heat that is so unlike me on one level but is so who I really truly am inside on every other, and I would resolve to never forget these days and nights in which so much is activated by my desire, my initiative and my outgoing spirit of connection and creation. 1999 will be the year of release from anything and everything meaningless, and dancing with perfect grace and poise while experiencing the unique view from the top of the highest tree.

If I were a SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) -- I would be starting to understand that while certain things are pointless, others are genuinely quite important, and I would be very happy that for what seems like the first time in years, the difference between the two would be so obvious that I could not miss it if I tried, or if I were sound asleep, which I am ecstatic that I am not thanks to having gotten the deeply relevant and life-saving message of the recent developments in my life. 1999 will be the year of taking relationships seriously at the same time as taking them less seriously, and of learning that to have mercy upon myself is a healthy thing.

If I were a SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) -- I wouldn't have a fucking clue what was happening to me because so much is happening at once, on so many levels, in ways that nothing has ever happened before and at a pace I cannot comprehend, but I would be filled with gratitude that something about me is very naturally attuned to this kind of fleeting, exotic and faithfully unpredictable space of laser-beam-focus-expansion, which I understand to be part of a process of self-discovery that is going very, very well. 1999 will be the year of the impossible opposites and the imminent resolution of all that undermines and counteracts the truth while seeming to be true.

If I were born a CAPRICORN in this lifetime (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) -- there would be no way I could change my ways, and I greatly admire the guts and innovation of the current generation of fishtailed goats who are able to live so gracefully in the relentless onslaught of the modern world despite the obvious difficulty and the struggle around knowing that for everything we gain, we must give up something else, and knowing that so much of what we give up is of such real value while what we gain is barely a trinket, but I would know that through careful evaluation I would be able to find the truly meaningful when I needed it even though it is so elusive. 1999 will be the year of compulsory fun, and facing my fear of creation of something better than me.

If God had made me an AQUARIUS (Jan. 19-Feb. 18) ­ I would still be wondering what I was supposed to do with all of these amazing psychic and intellectual resources that I sometimes doubt exist because the world is so intent on doing things the stupid way when so much easier ways are available, and I would be wondering when I would get the courage to tell all the sleeping, miserable, enslaved, distraught, blind-folded and stuffy people of the world to get off their asses before I strike an enormous green match and do it for them. 1999 will be the year of my emerging leadership and being so free that everyone around me has no choice but to declare their absolute freedom.

If I were a PISCES, which I am (Feb. 19-Mar. 20) -- I would take the advice of Rob Brezsny, whose kindness blew in like a fresh shore-breeze through a secret window in the universe I did not know was there, and adopt a nickname for myself (on his advice, based on the old Chinese proverb) so that I may continue to grow and prosper, a name which is The Great Kazoo, since as a small-framed Sicilian I qualify as a little green man, since I am indeed a troublemaking/troublefixing visitor from the future popping into prehistoric times, and since, in the world of Kazoos, I am indeed a great one. 1999 will be the year of watching all things good grow in their beauty, might and light, and witnessing all things evil diminish in their power to do harm.

If I were born under THE THIRTEENTH SIGN (For the Faithful) which is also true despite the fact that it does not exist -- I would know that there is only one way to be in the world despite there being so many other options available, and that way is the way of expressing with ever-more-vivid clarity that which I am, that which I desire and that which I know to be true, while gracefully allowing my visions to run years or light-years ahead of me, activating necessary potential and allowing the blossoming of a future different from the past. 1999 is the Chinese Year of the Golden Hare, and is not the last year of the 20th Century ­ the year 2000 is (note the "20" built into that number) ­ and note the fact that, as centuries go, the current one has surely given us a few things to think about which would be a very wise thing to do for the two years.
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Eric Francis is an astrologer and writer roaming the galaxy, currently sitting at the place where two rivers converge in the secret Zen country of New Jersey. Thanks to my dear and generous friends, and my bold, open-minded clients, and my supportive editors and producers everywhere from the Colorado Daily to America Online-UK, whose faith and support makes this column possible. ++

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