Reader Comment

 

August 4, 2006

 

http://cainer.com/ericfrancis/aug4.html

 

Hi Eric:

 

I don't often disagree with an expert in his own field -- but today I'm compelled to say something about the advice you’ve given to Michelle in regards to her natal chart.

 

It would appear contradictory to advise Michelle to 'own' her projections and whatnot, while at the same time telling her that, basically, early childhood conditioning is to blame for her current condition. How can one own that which does not come from them?

 

One of the things I love about astrology is it gives me an idea of the kind of 'filter' through which I view the world -- one which often defines me, sometimes undermines me, but which is fundamentally my way of being in and through the world. It’s my Acorn.

 

Anyone's experience of childhood is precisely that, an individual's experience -- and 'conditioning' cannot be anything but a child's way of reacting to events that occurred in the course of my growing up -- through my 'filter'.

 

That which causes emotional trauma to one child may be a big adventure to another. Yes, a mother’s love or lack thereof is a huge influence upon the development of a child's psyche -- but not necessarily one needing value judgments, in hindsight, for the purposes of becoming a responsible-for-self human being. If you had children, Eric (sure you won't be offended by this) you might have the perspective to find the entire idea a lot more freeing than the 'cause and effect' model of psychology and astrology.

 

In other words -- shouldn't you question, at least, the trend toward finding causes in childhood -- why not find a filter right here and now in your SELF.

 

I am a great advocate of psychoanalysis, and would wholeheartedly recommend a soul-based therapy for Michelle, one which will teach her to recognise her own role in creating her life, from infancy.

 

-- Dan

 

 

Hey Dan:

 

Note to readers, this pertains to a question from last week's edition.

 

Client situations are not easy topics to take up in an essay. The subject of projection is difficult and complicated and it's subject to interpretation and one's definition of what the mind is.

 

You ask: "It would appear contradictory to advise Michelle to 'own' her projections and whatnot, while at the same time telling her that, basically, early childhood conditioning is to blame for her current condition. How can one own that which does not come from them?"

 

Well, if someone gives you something, and you take it, whether you realize it or not, it's yours. So, that's how someone can own something that does not come from them. If you inherit, you own it. What I am saying in my response is that Michelle was given things... influenced in specific ways, patterns were taken on, and one of those patterns involves whatever situation I described.

 

The problem with astrology done in essay format is that it's not actually possible to work with someone. So I try to come from a human place of common sense and empathy, as well as from what I have learned, and whatever interpretive skills I can offer. My guide rule is that of the Tao Te Ching's advice to diviners: be sincere.

 

In terms of "creating her own role in creating her life, from infancy," we depart ideas 10,000 percent. I recognize there is a school of thought that says we choose our parents. Whatever the causes of our parents in our lives may be, I start the discussion of childhood with the grounding that initially, our parents happened to us. We also happen to them, and that, too, happens to us, as we pick up their reactions to us. But we enter their environment.

 

I pointed Michelle to a book that is about the neurology of emotion, childhood impact and therapy. The main point of the book, called A General Theory of Love, is that due to the limitations on the size of the human pelvis, a child's brain is gestating until at least two years old. In terms of our brains, we are a fetus till age two. During this time, the limbic system is forming -- the part of the brain that deals with both emotion and memory. It is forming within the environment that surrounds it, and the authors explain that we become tuned to the emotional pitch and tenor of our family of origin. In this process, limbic pathways are formed, which carry our neurological messages -- feelings and memories -- in a very specific pattern, much like those of the people around us.

 

I have no doubt that this whole scenario is influenced by karma, whatever that may be, but I feel that physical and scientific models can be useful if we apply them with awareness -- and this seems to be a very useful one. It helped me, at least, to understand there was an environmental and neurological factor involved in the patterning process. This helps account for why people are so attuned to their families, and why people's families can push their buttons so easily. It also helps account for why we tend to have relationships that so closely mimic those we have with parents -- we are neurologically tuned to that pitch; indeed, we are often deaf to any other.

 

The issue of choosing our parents and our life circumstances based on a concept of the soul is a kind of religious belief (currently enshrined in New Age religion, among others), but as an active factor, this is very much outside the gestalt of anything discussed so far in this situation. The problem with this belief is that kids tend to take on responsibility for everything around them, they tend to blame themselves for everything, and I think that what productive therapy does is help us sort out who is responsible for what. And I believe that parents are 1. Responsible for what they do and 2. In our culture, at least traditionally and to a great extent today, extremely reluctant to accept any responsibility at all.

 

Then along comes somebody with what is a kind of intellectual construction (even if it came from India, it lands in the West as an intellectual idea): we "choose our parents" and, whether true or not, we suddenly have yet another reason to take responsibility (usually in the form of fault and blame) for their stuff, their actions, their choices, and the conditions of their lives at the time of our infancy. So I try not to touch this concept, ever. If the client brings up the subject of having chosen his or her parents, that's another story -- in this case, she did not. But generally to me this is a signal that the person is taking on the blame for what their parents did to them, which can be extremely paralyzing, and usually the idea is swallowed whole.

 

In terms of suggesting she not only seek therapy, but also in introducing her to the best book I've ever read about therapy -- neurologically grounded and loving -- I feel like I am in safe, at worst, benign territory. But I will say: in doing astrology in writing, where therapy is called for, there is no right answer. Interpretation is always a risk, and always violates the ethics of therapy; as does advice.

 

I just do my best, stick to my experience and training as honestly as I can, listen to the client, and read the chart. And while I do not advocate that others embark on a "spiritual path," I follow my inner guidance in these answers and respond in harmony with the information I am getting.

 

Usually, this will include some form of the message that you can help yourself, and since you're sitting here asking for help, it would seem that you're ready.

 

Thanks for writing, Dan.

 

Eric Francis