Astrology Secrets Revealed by ERIC FRANCIS

Of Chickens and Eggs

(Sorry readers, this is yet another rerun from 'The Very Very Very Best of Astrology Secrets Revealed' that we just published again last week)


April 1, 2006 (with chart)


Dear Eric


I have a question, which I know has nothing to do with astrology, but it has been keeping me up night after night, and my boyfriend is starting to wonder so much he called my mother. I only ask you because you seem to know so much about so many things.


What came first, the chicken, or the egg?


Yours truly,


Late Nights Pondering, in Leeds

(Birth Data: 9.6.69, 12:00)



Dear Pondering


Like many devotees of astrology, you seem to be contemplating whether you exist, which I think is a job more appropriate for skydiving. However, you have posed an original and compelling question, and since nothing is beyond the scope of astrology, I would like to take a moment this week and address the issue.


I admit it would be easier if we had the birth chart for the first chicken, which might give us a clue, though my friend Sidney in the Royal Biology Lab tells me that happened some time about 785,000 years ago, and it would be hard to get an accurate chart. However, we would then be faced with a question -- which chart would we use? The chart for the time the first egg was laid, or the time it hatched?


When is the birth time of a chicken? These are the kinds of things you have to worry about when you become an astrologer. So children, beware, before you let your parents or guidance counselor lure you into this dodgy career.


And it would also be a heck of a lot easier if we had your accurate birth data as well, since your chart might tell me something, but I don't know if you were born on June 9 or Sept. 6, nor do I know if you were born at noon or midnight, and you haven't mentioned the place, which could be anywhere. But I will address your question, which I am sure everyone has wondered at some point in their lives, using the most accurate and ancient form of astrology: horary.


Generally, horary cannot answer these chicken and egg type questions, but I have rolled up my sleeves, I'm on my sixth cappuccino, I've got a newly charged battery in my Macintosh, and I've summoned the spirits of Ptolemy, William Lilly, Patric Walker, Evangeline Adams, Aleister Crowley and Dear Abby.


They are all standing around my table at this cute little cafe in downtown Calcutta, laughing hysterically.


And now for our chart.


Regular readers of Astrology Secrets Revealed have already fallen off their chairs and need to be picked up off the floor. Lookie look everyone, at what degree is rising! It's none other than the…Aries Point! Woo hoo! Can you stand it? I've tried to summon the attention of my mentors, but the only one who seems to care is Dear Abby. It seems she was an astrologer all along, posing as an advice columnist.


The Aries Point is the first degree of Aries. It was discovered by the 14th century Scottish astrologer and writer of smutty novels that I can't quote in this column because people in Middle England are reading, but I can mention his name: the brilliant Ludwig Amadeus Aries, who in turn was a great inspiration for Galileo and Erica Jong.


What exactly does the Aries Point mean? Well, besides meaning everything, it's fair to say that it's about the beginning of something, in this case, obviously, the whole cycle of chickens and eggs.


Mars is the ruler of Aries and it is in the sign Aries, on the North Node, offering us yet another cosmic metaphor for beginnings. So we have a chart that fits the story -- the issue is clearly the beginning. We are on the right track. So far so good. Everything is beautiful.


When reading horary, it's always good to look at the Sun and the Moon. Notice that the Sun is in the sign Cancer. The Moon is in the sign Leo. This is a peculiar situation, because the Sun is in the Moon's sign (Cancer) and the Moon is in the Sun's sign (Leo). So Leo refers back to Cancer and Cancer refers back to Leo; and further, the Sun refers back to the Moon. And vice versa. In fact, you can throw in a few more vice versas as well.


This rare condition is only true for about two days a year -- and one of them happens to be today. How weird is that? Isn't astrology amazing? I mean, this sodding stuff works!


Also, the Moon, Mars and Pluto are in a grand trine. We've talked about these before, and if you recall, it was a long conversation. Once you get into a grand trine, it's a while before you get out. They just go around and around. Also, the Sun, Uranus and the asteroid Ceres are in a grand trine. Both the Sun and the Moon are in a grand trine and they are in one another's signs. So no matter how you look at this chart, it says the same thing: it just goes around and around.


Perhaps we need some guidance from some of the more subtle and spiritual planets, as this is a rather metaphysical question. Uranus and Neptune are good for that. Yet we find Uranus in the sign Pisces, and Neptune in the sign Aquarius -- they are in one another's signs!


Are we starting to see a pattern in this chart? I can see why you've been staying up so many nights.


Ah, I know what to do -- I'll call Jonathan Cainer's cell phone. He'll know how to get out of this. Hold on, it's still pretty early in London.


Okay, I talked to him, and true to form he said something philosophical -- the question matters less if you're vegetarian and doesn't matter at all if you're vegan!