Astrology Secrets Revealed by ERIC FRANCIS

Overly Sensitive or Too Intense?


March 4, 2005


Hi Eric:

First, I'd like to tell you that I read your work daily -- I admire your courage, your many talents and your points of view. Thank you! For a long time now, various people (usually women) have told me (I am also a woman) that I'm too 'thin skinned' or 'too sensitive' or 'too intense'. When I was told point blank again recently 'you are too thin skinned', I felt a little exasperated. From looking at my chart, what could be contributing to this sensitivity? It's like a skip on the record.


Love and Appreciation,

They Call Me Thin Skinned




It's always a good idea to watch out for the word 'too'. There are times when it's appropriate word; for example, a basketball is definitely too large and bouncy to use to play baseball. Garlic is too strong of an herb for ice cream (some would disagree). But for a person, and for personality traits, when people say the word too, they are generally having a personal reaction that, while it may have been inspired by you in that moment, is really coming from them.


For many people wearing masks, people who are real, who speak their mind, and most of all, who feel, can feel threatening. Some people wearing masks are good at hiding their responses, and out of politeness they don't reveal their reaction. You seem to hang out with a crowd of people who, while they may be threatened, at least tell you so.


In such moments, we're always faced with a decision: do we become more like we are, or less like we are? That is to say, if we're allegedly 'too emotional' do we use that as an excuse to back off, or to be more real? I would propose you may want to experiment with being more real, and see what happens.


You could also ask them to take half an hour and with you in the employee lunchroom (or wherever) and go deeply into their observations about you -- if that conversation goes on longer than 90 seconds, they are likely to be talking about THEIR feelings and their reactions and their life, and it will come bubbling to the surface that this is really all about them.


It's good to remember that people who judge you are not really your friends. So you don't have to worry about losing friends. But they may become your friends if you give them a little push, challenge them to be real themselves, give them a chance to take responsibility for how THEY feel, and see if a breakthrough is possible.


If not, then no worries: you just keep going in life and you will meet people who love you, teach you, set the example for you, and most of all, embrace you for who you are.


That being said, for these intense types (many of whom gather round this web page like butterflies around a tree of flowers) it helps to tune up that intensity and, in a sense, to burn your psychic fuel a little more cleanly. Part of that is practicing a truly deep degree of self-acceptance. It is likely that you've been getting these reactions for a while, probably going back to before you remember. And it's likely that you took on the reactions of others and blamed yourself.


So, unconditional self-acceptance. These are perhaps strong words, and some will quiver at them, but they are the place to start; the best and really only way to inoculate yourself against the judgments of others; and the best space, I feel, from which it's possible to recognize what we want to change about ourselves, and grow into someone new.


This takes a little practice, but the chances are, you're going to do it well once you let go of your own judgments of yourself, and gravitate toward people who just simply dig you. I am sure you will agree, that feels good.