Options to Romance By Eric Francis ©'999 by Planet Waves Digital Media, all rights reserved. Photo above, "Anaserma" by Neal McDonough, digitized by Eric Francis. A compendium of often-misunderstood, misleading, mysterious, unheard-of and/or derogatory terms relating to sex, sexuality and relationships, as well as life, love and freedom, plus a dash of astrology where necessary. This is a work-in-progress, and your submissions, comments and questions are welcome, and in most cases will be answered. This is a re-re-revised edition, and it's growing every week. Additions include entries on Bondage and Discipline, Generation X, Betty Dodson, Fuck, Cheating, Vulva, Cock, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Bi-curious, Threesome, Rimming, Wilhelm Reich and other topics of interest. Coming soon: one-night stand, zipless fuck, shame, anal sex, shaving, long-distance relationship, drugs, menstruation, latex, Tantra, prostitution, sperm-lover, adolescence, and others. Now in two parts. Terms in bold type relate to other definitions in the glossary. Jump to Part Two, L - Z
Abortion. Termination of a pregnancy by choice. Its existence is documented through the ages, and until recently the process was controlled by women. It was not until men gained control of abortion that it became the supposedly moral issue that it is. Currently abortion is legal thanks to the famous Roe v. Wade supreme court decision of the 1970s.
Adolescence. Besides the first two years, perhaps the most formative period of life, and a time of great sexual awakening, both in terms of hormones and consciousness. Breasts, pubic hair, mature body odor, full-powered sexual desire, and a wide variety of other physical and emotional changes (sometimes called 'secondary sexual characteristics') appear at this time, along with what is usually a monumental crisis, which technically can range from about 10 years old through about 19. How adolescence is handled varies widely from culure to culture, as do the results of the growth phase. In Western culture, we are especially cruel and insensitive to the needs of budding adults, and often the machinations of society crush any possibility of a full blooming in the young adult. The systems-busting psychiatrist and sexual pioneer Wilhelm Reich felt that it was especially damaging to set up soceity in a way that at the period of the most poignant sexual desire, that desire must be repressed, denied and moralized out of existence, which he felt created a life-long struggle in many people. He equated this directly to a tool of the darkest oppressive forces, which are designed to deny humanity for the sake of economic and social control.Times have changed somewhat, and reports from the field, in part based on teen pregnancy statistics, suggest that in some communities sexual desire may not be so repressed in adolescence, however this points to another problem -- that of lack of education, awareness and a safe space in which to experiment responsibly.
.......Many, if not most, adults remain in adolescent crisis until mid-life, which Reich and others have equated directly to the sexual conflicts that are cemented in at that time.
AIDS. The Western medical term (acronym for Acquired Immune Dysfunction Syndrome; originally GRID, or Gay-Related Immune Disorder) for a kind of immune system collapse. It was not a known issue until around 1981, and it was not a big issue until around 1984, though based on testing of old blood samples, rare cases are believed to go back to the 1960s or considerably before. The origins of this problem are another story entirely, though it is fair to say that it was allowed to run rampant for many years because it primarily affected homosexual men, for whom the conservative power establishment in Washington has little use and perhaps identifies with a little too closely for comfort.
.......The immune system is the aspect of the body, related to the mind and the emotions, that defends the body against all forms of disease, from cancer to colds. A person with AIDS has an immune system that is not working properly. (This is different than being infected with HIV, the supposed Human Immunodeficiency Virus, a condition in which a person may be symptom-free their entire life.) AIDS is believed to be caused by HIV (conflicting evidence is unreported in the media, and there is much of it), but what enables that supposed virus to do its work are a wide variety of other factors also impacting the immune system, ranging from chemical contamination to lifestyle issues.
.......Becuase it is a syndrome and not a disease (a syndrome is a whole constellation of diseases and symptoms) it is a definition that is changing constantly as new tests are developed, new grants are given out or taken away and as the politics of life, death and profits play out their insidious game. It is clear that the AIDS crisis is part of a much wider immune crisis on the planet, involving a spectrum of illnesses from Lyme disease to Epstein-Barr virus. Yet it is also clear that there is a karmic level of reality here, as we believe, at any rate, that we have the power to kill one another with sexuality, and, curiously, we often ignore this fact.
.......In any case, the best means of preventing AIDS is using condoms during all penetrating sexual contact, avoiding other sexually-transmitted diseases (which can compromise the immune system, as can the treatments for them) not abusing antibiotics, not abusing other chemical substances, not sharing needles, not having an excessive level of stress in life, and knowing something about the history and intentions of the people we choose as sexual partners. As my lover George said a long time ago, the message of AIDS is not "use condoms," but rather "have whole relationships." I believe that even if relationships last an hour, they can be compassionate, caring and whole.
Attraction. This is the normal, sweet or absolutely compelling thing we feel for people we like or are drawn to, regardless of other circumstances that may be a factor.
Art. Art is not knowing what you're getting into. Closely related to sex.
Asshole. Everyone has one. There are those who embody the concept other ways, and it seems to be used to describe an anal retentive, controlling and mean person who does not have empathy for others. When used to represent the anus, it describes a highly sensitive region of the body that can and often is be involved in a wide variety of kinds of sex play, including anal intercourse, rimming, fisting, masturbation and many others. There is a discussion of anal hygiene following the rimming entry.
Baby Boomer. After the war of right and might, of unlooked for logic, tons of GIs came home, got married, "did it" and had a baby boom in which they made the baby boomers, born circa 1945-1955. Based on history, a motto of many (though clearly not all) in this cohort could be: 'We're gonna change the world! We'll fuck it up for you!' An alarming number of men from this generation haven't the slightest clue what a condom is, and many of their female counterparts are afraid to tell them. However, in all fairness, we can credit these hoodloms with a lot of iconoclastic experimentation and the vandalous protests that put an end to the Vietnam War, even if many bra- or draft card-burners went on to be stock options traders in the military-industrial complex.
Beat Generation. Not a whole generation, but rather a literary movement earlier in this century. These were mostly people born circa 1920-1940 who, in the first decade after the World War (from about 1945 on) figured out the astonishing extent of the boring, hypocritical bullshit in American society at the same time as discovering their fierce creative fire, their intellectual light and their sexual passion, not to mention tapping into a genuine egalitarian view of the human experience.
.......The original Beats, among them Allen Ginsberg, Diane diPrima, Ed Sanders, Jack Kerouac, Neal Cassady, Bill (William S.) Burroughs, Lawrence Ferlinghetti and others, were based largely in NYC, Denver and a place they called 'Frisco. Experimenting with free love, with queerness, and mainly with ideas, they succeeded at creating a poetic and intellectual revolution which broke the hard grip of the father's chauvinistic language, and crystallized the speech of freedom for the era to come. The most famous book of the beats was Kerouac's On The Road, which inspired tons of people to actually get off their asses and go someplace or do something. Its writer lived in relative obscurity until a review in The New York Times put the book on the map and away we went.
.......The generation it inspired, which some people call "the Hippies," would witness and partake in events among which are included the long, difficult and ultimately victorious struggle of American youth to stop Vietnam, feminism and the sexual revolution, acid mysticism, the national civil rights movement, the campus uprisings, Nixon's resignation and rock music. This blast of idealism was short-lived, but better than having never lived at all. Of the Beats, I leave you with a droplet of their fire, from Ginsberg's "Sunflower Sutra," in which the poet describes a sunflower struggling to live near a dock in an industrial district --
all that dress of dust, that veil of darkened railroad skin, that smog of cheek, that eyelid of black mis'ry, that sooty hand or phallus or protuberance of artificial worse-than-dirt -- industrial -- modern -- all that civilization spotting your crazy golden crown --
b/d-s/m or Bondage/discipline - sado/masochism. Umbrella terms covering a vast array of time-honored sexual activities, usually involving some combination of physical restraint, intense physical stimulation and emotional submission to another person who plays a dominant role, or dominating a person who has asked to play a submissive role.
.......Contrary to popular misunderstandings, this is, in most situations, a voluntary, consensual and loving form of sex play, and its dynamics are a rather complex exploration of human nature. It is not about involuntary torture, and one of the most salient aspects of this form of play is the conscious setting of boundaries and the use of "safe words" which slow the action or stop the show. It often involves the playing out of prearranged "scenes," or scenarios in which people submit to the power, desires or dominance of others for the mutual pleasure of both. Examples might be staged medical examinations or job interviews that turn sexual, the experience of being restrained and teased for hours at the brink of orgasm, or humbling experiences like being compelled to beg for gratification.
.......Often the experience is largely psychological or emotional in nature, for example, a "slave" spending the day performing housework nude or partially nude as a submissive act. However, the use of intense physical stimulation by floggers, whips, canes, mild electric shock and other means, is added to many scenes, intensifying the experience of submission and surrender. Often the scenes are not explicitly sexual, involving no genital stimulation, though the subject of the treatment is usually nude.
.......Many people without natural leanings to this kind of activity usually respond to it with an emphatic, "WHY?" and I will answer as best I can. First, many people feel that this is fun, and have for centuries. But there are psychological possibilties for our psychillogical age. Often sexual relationships, indeed, all relationships, involve power games and various forms of psychological restraint, torture and delayed gratification, and b/d-s/m play takes it out into the open. Profound experiences of submission are often considered extremely erotic, and b/d-s/m play (or sexual fantasy) exaggerates this aspect of relationship, often playing men and women in different roles -- for example, men submitting to the domination of women, women submitting to other women, or men to other men, which can provide a distinct therapeutic relief from the rigid patterns of the ego.
.......The "pain" aspect is not pain in the conventional sense, but rather a combination of powerful stimulation which converts to pleasure when the mind and body are in an excited state, and is a tool used by the dominant to produce deeper states of emotional submission, humility and release of the subject's will.
.......Practitioners of b/d-s/m are among the more normal people you will meet, and you would have no way of knowing that this was one of their hobbies if you ran into them in the lobby of their law office or their flower shop. It is an essential field of exploration for a full understanding of the intricacies of human sexual, psychological and emotional dynamics.
Bi-curious. Describes a heterosexual person who is curious about sexual experiences with people of their own gender. You will see this term turn up in personal ads a lot. It is healthy and normal to fantasize about same-sex erotic experiences whether you are male or female, whether you try them or not, and plenty of rather heterosexual people have 'fessed up to such thoughts, dreams and notions, which can be quite hot in nature (taboo things always are) and also the cause of much unnecessary distress. One becomes bi-curious when fantasy strives to manifest as experience, which is also positive, healthy, normal and can be a lot of fun. It is probably best to share these feelings with your partner, if you have one, which will keep the pressure off of you and minimize feelings of fear, guilt and shame (and if your partner doesn't like the idea, you're probably with the wrong person). In fulfilling such desires, it's best to take your time, but not forever, because as you grow older the desires may fade and reside within you as unresolved passions that the layers of the ego force into permanent concealment. I also suggest giving same-sex erotic experiences more than one chance. The first experience can sometimes be awkward, just like walking, and of course, the experience varies from partner to partner. Seeking out an experienced person can be very helpful so that you can have an informed discussion.
Bisexual. Anything that moves. But seriously, this is a weird idea, all the stranger for the arbitrary concepts heterosexual and homosexual that give rise to it. If you believe that sexuality exists on a bipolar scale, then anybody but somebody at one of the farthest extremes of hetero and homo is really "bisexual." Statistically speaking, this would create a very large population, especially if you include all the straighter-than-straight guys or raging lesbians who suck cock in their dreams; yes, and all the queerboys who would just love to lick up some pussycat. And since it would appear that masturbation is really homosexual activity, anyone who expresses sexual selflove, and then experiences partnersex with a member of the other gender, is technically bisexual.
.......The important thing to remember about bisexuality is that you don't have to choose between one supposed orientation and the other, though I have heard that there is often some pressure brought to bear on people "in the middle" to make a choice. If you feel this is happening to you, it's probably a good idea to stick to other bisexuals as partners, though many heterosexual women are truly understanding of mens' desires to have sexual or affectual experiences with other men, and some men feel it would be positive if their female partner explored other women -- but usually, this is centered on the man's gratification and fantasy fulfillment, rather than on an understanding of what it would mean for a woman to make love to another of her kind.
.......Any experiments of this nature -- that is, exploring bisexuality within the context of a heterosexual relationship -- are venturing into polyamory, or the love of more than one person. And this requires a special handling of emotions and feelings, since it's quite possible for jealousy to arise. It can and does happen that men become threatened by the love and emotional bonding that two women feel for one another, or become frustrated with the fact that they cannot share in the exclusively female sexual dimension. I have heard less of this about womens' feelings toward men, though women seem more inclined to experiment with bisexuality as a path of affection and emotional discovery rather than exclusively as sex, and sex is less threatening than love. In any case, the remedy to all ills is a combination of honesty and compersion. More information at threesome.
Breast. The reverence, desire and appreciation centered on the female breast is a deep reminder of the role of the Mother archetype in human sexual experience. The breast seems to be the ideal hybrid between an organ of nurturing and one of sexual pleasure. Some women can come just from stimulation of their nipples. Lactating women have been known to spout milk at orgasm. Where exactly do nursing babies fit into this scenario? See also Tit-fucking.
Book of Forbidden Words. Edited by Robert A. Wilson (of Illuminatus! fame), published by Playboy in 1972. Difficult to find. Includes definitions of more than 700 erotic and scatalogical words, such as Yodeling in the Gully (a three-person oral daisy-chain with two femals and one male), Tijuana Bible (a book of pornographic photos), Vegetarian (a whore who refuses French jobs, a/k/a blowjobs, or fellatio). Existence of this book noted by Via at Studio Psycherotica, where they seem to know quite a bit about Wilson.
Cheating. When you can't get what you want, cheating is what you might find yourself doing. Generally, this is thought of as having a sexual relationship behind the back of your primary partner, though the secrecy often involves as much the emotional relationship as it does the sexual one. Many people find it easier to cheat if the relationship lacks depth and involvement, though this is not always possible, and we can often find ourselves loving the people we are sexual with. Studies on this subject indicate that in marriages, it probably happens at least as often as not, and our culture, while professing puritanical values, has created an environment in which cheating thrives, and in which many people attempt to do it casually. It has an energy all its own, for the sexual pleasure is often deeply mingled with feelings of guilt that arise from the fact that the relationship is "wrong" and must be concealed. Sometimes this feeling of guilt mingled with pleasure is the goal of the sexual experience, since guilty or fearful sex is one of the primal erotic experiences we encounter in life, and has its roots deep in the psyche. Often, people decide not to reveal to their primary partner that they are having a relationship, allegedly "not to hurt the other person's feelings." But the net effect is to deny their primary partner the choice of whether he or she wants to remain in the relationship by denying him or her the information they would use to make the decision. Many people report that they feel more hurt by the secrecy around their partner's cheating than by the fact that their partner is bonding sexually or emotionally with another person. (Also see "compersion," "polyamory" and "polyfidelity.")
Cock. A good old word for penis. Photo to be posted.
Commitment. Commitment to what? A term often mistakenly confused with fidelity, loyalty, faithfulness, honesty and undying love, and also a synonym for being permanantly placed on a mental ward. It needs to be used with caution and with other words around it, particularly, "to..."
Compersion. The opposite of jealousy. This is the love you feel when others feel love. To illustrate, imagine you are a man and see your female lover embrace another man she loves dearly. The sense of pleasure you felt at the experience of their love could be called compersion. It often extends into openly sexual feelings, including sexual arousal at the thought or experience of other people sharing sexual pleasure. I would expand the concept to include the love you would feel while watching another person in a state of selflove; in other words, sharing masturbation seems to be a good fit for a compersion experience, and an easily available one to experiment with. The word and, more importantly, the idea of 'compersion', were developed in the Kerista community living experiment in San Francisco's Haight District during the 1970s, though Kerista's roots go back some years prior to the Beat Generation. The Keristans, according to Ryam Nearing at Loving More, 'Believed it was important to have a word for this emotion, so people could talk about it more easily and even realize it was possible to feel this way'.
Control drama. Essentially, in a great many cases, another word for "relationship." Most people do not know how to relate to one another sexually or emotionally without major infiltration of control. Many desire being controled and do not feel loved unless their partner exerts power over them. Much as I try to let one or another of the genders off the hook for "worst offendor" status, it seems that nobody has a corner on the market on this matter. When issues of control reach a pitch of dramataic fervor, ranging from suicide threats or attempts to feigning other relationships to get someone's attention, we have a control drama. Often they go on for years, sometimes for decades, and in some families, generations. See also compersion, jealousy and commitment.
Coupling. This is a form of mating. Couples are supposedly partaking in the most common form of relationship, but these highly complex systems of coexistence, in which there are often involved many intertwined connections among numerous people, as well as many layers of information to decode or unfold, are generally anything but exclusive partnerships. I mean, it happens. Some people do live miles from civilization.
Cream. Semen. See sperm.
Cunt. A good old Anglo or is it Saxon word for the vulva, not the car but the total female sex organs. Most women feel it is an extremely degrading or derogatory word that is frequently synonimous with "worthless bitch," though this is truly a matter of opinion and experience. Betty Dodson and others have long advocated for reclaiming cunt as a feminine power word, along with reclaiming the cunt itself.
Cunnilingus. Licking, sucking or otherwise worshipping the vulva orally, by a woman or a man. Can include tongue-thrusting and sipping or slurping of female love juice. Kindly note that there is good information about technique in most books on lesbian sexuality. Goes well with French kissing.
Cybering. This is a kind of conscious erotic dream played out verbally, usually between two people. Otherwise known as "virtual sex" or "cybersex," it is an intellectual-level expression of thoughts, desires, and feelings, which then resonate through the psyche and body. The virtual, or "relatively real," aspect enables people to be many other selves than they normally are, and thus experiment with the diversity of human experience. Looked at another way, cybering is sharing masturbation, because the "sex" part involves selfpleasuring, often masturbating to orgasm while another person knows more or less what is happening. In our sexually illiterate culture, combining sexuality and literacy might be a very good thing. Another distinct advantage I see to this form of sexual contact is that it gives humans an experience of sharing a sexual connection that is not attached with screws, nails and epoxy. Cybersex connections have a tendency to flow, and to be anonymous but very safe expressions of desire.
Death. There are two things we know for sure about death: That it happens, and that we don't know for sure what it is. But what we think death is will have tremendous impact on what we think life is, and therefore, how we live. Our values about death are our values about life. Death above all else must represent mystery, and our relationship with this mystery is about living respectfully with the unknown and the uncontrollable. I would mention that a great deal more than we realize has been observed about this phenomenon or transition in a great many cultures, and western philosophy and science are at long last beginning to catch up with things like Egyptian mythology.
Dharma. Acting as if to hold the world together. The opposite of Karma, Dharma is what you do, rather than the effects of what you've done. Usually our relationships are caught in a web of Karma, and we do indeed get off on finding our past-life partners. If enlightenment is what you seek, the idea is to move into one's Dharma. It is challenging in an easier and more productive way, and sooner or later, you have to get there.
Dildo. An object besides a penis used to fuck someone, often oneself. They are usually shaped like a penis, but some of the better ones are not. Silicone and acrylic dildos cost more but are a lot better than latex or vinyl. Often they have built-in vibrators. In recent years, there has been a lot of development in the dildo market and some excellent varieties are available. Strap-on dildos are often used by women to fuck another woman, or anally fuck a man. For a world of dildos and other fun information on sex, go to Good Vibrations.
Dodson, Betty Ann. Kansas born & bred fine artist and designer who, in 1974, self-published a pamphlet called Liberating Masturbation. This followed several years of organizing and experimentation principally with women around deepening experiences of masturbation and orgasm as the primary means to holistic health, as well as personal and sexual freedom. Betty brought women together in masturbation circles, erotic massage parties and what she called bodysex workshops, and for 25 years ran women's selfloving workshops from her Madison Avenue apartment. Her illustrations of female genitalia were among the very first to be put into circulation in our culture, though her private collection of her own pencil illustrations of Goddess figures is nothing short of breathtaking.
.......Betty's efforts over the years have pushed away many of the veils raised by sexual oppression, gender imbalance, romantic ideals of love, and she has taught many thousands of women how to orgasm. Her work has touched three generations, as her early students and clients are the grandmothers of today. At age 70, she remains sexually active and an avid masturbator, and, professionally, is completing her sexual memoirs and continues her private practice with individual clients. Her work remains commercially available in the form of a mass-market edition of her original pamphlet, now published under the title Sex for One, and she is the producer of several excellent, educational and deeply erotic videos, including Selfloving and Celebrating Orgasm.
Drag. (1) Cross-dressing, usually boys or men dressing like girls or women. (2) What one person in a relationship may become if he or she consciously attempts to hold down the vibrations of another, or is excessively negative.
Ejaculation. At or near the point of orgasm, the body becomes a pump of deep pleasure, and one's entire function in the universe becomes to put forth the water of life. Usually experienced by men, who produce semen-- a milky fluid fertile with hundreds of millions of live sperm -- but it is also experienced by some women, whose bodies can secrete amrita, a clear fluid which is neither conventional vaginal secretion, nor urine. Female ejaculators can spurt this thin, slippery fluid from their urethras in a deep orgasm, often when being "fisted," or fucked by another person's closed hand.
Emotion. I think I'll skip over trying to explain this one.
(Just Kidding!) Emotion is motion; movement. Says my colleague Elisa, "Emotion is energy in motion." This is difficult to experience or express when the entity is rigid. We have, for the most part, become emotionally rigid thru overdosing with media, drugs, alcohol and sedentary lives.
Fag-hag. Generally refers to a theoretically straight woman who likes to keep company with queer men. It is supposed to be a derogatory (or self-effacing) term, and there is, implicit in a woman's preference for gay men as male friends, a potential statement being made about the nature of heterosexual guys, or at least they might perceive it that way. I consider so-called fag-hagging to be a fully legitimate sexual orientation, one of many, and it seems perfectly healthy to consider why women would want to be among men, but in a sexually charged environment tuned to a different frequency, i.e., something besides them. Another closely related sexual orientation is men who like being in the company of lesbians. Another would be heterosexual people who have a tendency to attract bisexual partners, or individuals who enjoy, appreciate and share their partner's same-sex desires or experiences. There are many ways to turn the sexual orientation gem and catch all kinds of different light.
Fantasy. (In progress)
Fellatio. Blow-job. Sucking the penis, by a man or a woman. Orgasm and ejaculataion are usually implied in the term. Some people positively love to swallow the semen; others are not so thrilled about it; others do it as seva, or selfless service.
Fetish. (In progress)
Fisting. Penetration of the vagina or anus with the whole hand, usually of another person. This is more common than commonly thought, and not as difficult as it sounds, though it helps if the fister has a fairly small hand in most cases. Susie Bright (see "Links") has a great article or two about this in her book Susie Sexpert's Lesbian Sex World. If you feel inclined to try this without reading the formal instructions, the basic principles are: cut and file your nails, and/or wear a latex glove (the glove would only work if your claws are not too long), use lots and lots and lots of lube, and it should not hurt. Remember. It should not hurt.
Friend. The most basic, necessary and understandable experience of relationship. Friends are the people who not only love and support you; they are the people who do not betray you. Honoring the personal freedom of all friends needs to be included as a factor in friendship, so that the acts of choice or preference we all make as a matter of being alive are not seen as betrayals. Friends are often not overtly sexual, but can be sexual on a variety of levels, from sharing or exploring sexual values, to fully expressed sexual experiences. There are cultural taboos on sex with friends, though who would you rather be in bed with? Your enemies?
Forking. A sexual position in which two women press one another's vulvas directly into full contact, legs wide open. Holding hands and pulling toward one another can heighten the pressure.
Fuck. A word with many meanings, though I have found no trace of documentation anywhere that this is an acronym for "fornication under carnal knowledge," as some have supposed; were this true, the Oxford English Dictionary or the classic Origins etymology dictionary would surely make mention of it. The best data on the history and social meaning of this word that I have found comes from Wayland Young's Eros Denied (Grove, 1964), which contains much essential and enlightening information for the sexually curious. According to Young, in his chapter on excluded words, fuck always meant sexual intercourse, until the Puritans of centuries ago censored it to "f--k" or "f---", at which time it began to take on its derogatory meanings, and fucking itself became popularly viewed as nasty, unmentionable or evil. "The people are indeed standing about in helpless confusion," writes Young. "They run to see a man killed on a broad field and in broad daylight, they accord renown and attribute virtue to the generals who are skilled in unmaking men, they proclaim loudly, kill, rob and betray. Meanwhile, a forced and mincing language whispers sexual intercourse, outlet, contact, deep emotional and spiritual involvement, interplay of two mature personalities. What is said is not what is meant, for what is meant is fuck and love."
Generation X. The generation without a name, specifically, sixties kids (though I include up to mid-1970s births in this cohort). A great deal of energy has gone into marketing stuff to these people. They are allegedly very difficult to sell things to, which is curious, considering how much they buy. Books and articles have been critical of this generation, attacking it for an alleged lack of motivation and ideals, and for generally being a comprised of a bunch of corporate sellouts/buyins. My sense is that this is an extremely idealistic generation that has invested its ideals in places that don't pay back justice or freedom, invested its sex in products that don't pay back passion, and invested its talent in businesses that don't pay back social change, art, music or community.
.......To the extent that the sellout theory is true, the influence of television must be considered; these were the first children parented by the boob tube, with Big Bird for a bosom buddy and McDonalds for a breast. These lives are reflected in the quality of the sixties years,which were a tremendous and, in retrospect, tragic contradiction of promise of social reform at the same time the whole idea of humanitarian justice became a product and parody of the media. Television, the new God, would only focus on the most outrageous antics of the Hippies, which led to a trivialization of the issues because social movements played right into TV's agenda. Neil Young said, "The Hippies tore down everything that we were fighting for," but another great sixties thinker, Marshall McLuhan, said of the media that first we invent it, and then it invents us. Underneath it all is some awesome astrology, and history as it relates to astrology.
.......During the 1960s, as Generation X was being born, there was a rare conjunction between two of the slowest-moving commonly-known planets, Pluto and Uranus (magnificently documented in two books: Acid Dreams by Martin Lee [sans astrology], and Prometheus the Awakener by Richard Tarnas). Tarnas, an historian and astrologer, documents that throughout history, the Uranus-Pluto conjunction, and the square (90 degree aspect) and opposition (120 degree aspect) have been associated with those rare ripples of revolt and revolution that have spread from mind to mind and across continents faster than the mail could travel. This conjunction, combined with the advent of LSD, creates a picture of a flare of rebellion and creativity that spread across the lands, rose up in protest to a horrendous 25-year terrorist war in Vietnam and Cambodia, flourished in some of the most amazing music so far put on record, and then all but vanished.
.......But the imprint of this era is left behind in the natal charts of those born in those years (approximately 1961-1974). This exists as mainly as a latency, in potential hidden tendencies toward social justice, egalitarian views and a sense that oppression is weaker than the power of the human spirit. Both Pluto and Uranus (representing evolution and revolution, respectively) are profoundly sexual planetary energies -- sexual in the sense of affirming life, freedom, human energy, transformation and breaking free of oppressive, outmoded structure. A third, rarely-mentioned planet involved in the configuration, Chiron, speaks to the ineffable universal calling that these individuals live with, regardless of whether they choose to respond. It remains to be seen whether this generation, the so-called Generation X, will claim its creative, political, social and sexual birthright.
Guilt. Guilt is to love and happiness what embalming fluid is to human blood. In many relationships, it has come to entirely replace the sense of bonding, friendship and kindness that previously characterized the joining. Our guilt is the means by which we allow other people to control us; when we give up our guilt, we are no longer subject to emotional manipulation, and therefore partners, parents, bosses and so forth can no longer control us; we are free.
Heterosexual. A person who, allegedly, only has sexual relationships with members of the opposite sex. But it's not quite so simple. Fantasies can transgress the gender barrier, and many heterosexuals have intense, orgasmic imaginary sex with their own gender. Where exactly do we draw the line? The concept of heterosexuality seems to be a culturally bashed-in and enforced idea.
Homophobia. Irrational fear of homosexuals, or of sexual contact with members of one's own gender. This is a condition that can prevent happiness and pleasure, as well as alienate people from intimate contact with many people. It appears to be more pronounced in men, though it has its more subtle but no less damaging manifestations among women as well. I would include in this term men who are disgusted by the possibility of women having sex with one another, and women disgusted by men having sex with one another.
Homosexual. A person who, allegedly, only has sexual relationships with members of their own sex. The men are generally referred to as "gay" and the women generally as "lesbians." Modern culture seems confounded as to the reasons for this mode of living, though it appears in some folks to be an absolutely natural biological state of affairs. In others, it appears to be more of a choice, based on preference, and, at times, a decision to abstain from intimate contact with the opposite sex. It was treated by physicians as a disease for many years, and ceased to be considered a psychological disorder in the 1970s. Homosexuality has existed since time immemorial. Please see bisexual.
Household. Life in North America has evolved sufficiently and in such a way that often, unmarried and unrelated people live together well past the college years. This is still illegal in some places, believe it or not. These households are often really extended families of choice, with a variety of social and sexual relationships mixed into the fabric of reality. Some are evolved to the point of being small intentional communities. It's a very nice way to live, if you can stand people and if you have some cooperation skills.
Intimate Network. Essentially this is a group of friends, or network, with a diversity of intimate relationships within the group, and a higher-than-normal level of awareness of what is being exchanged. Some people in the network might be platonic friends, and there can also be a diversity of sexual relationships among the various partners. There are no formal structures here, only what works organically, and, I guess, orgasmically.
Jack and Jill Off. Co-ed group masturbation. There is a description of this at the end of Coming to the Revolution.
Jealousy. [Courtesy of William Pennell Rock.] "Jealousy is the eruption of attachment. It can be transcended only through awareness. As we move with awareness into the core of this phenomenon, we pass ungrounded expectations and beliefs, projections and delusions, envy, guilt, the loss of self-esteem, and the threat to security. The core is an existential problem; it has to do with illusion and the essentially fearful nature of the ego. In possessiveness, ego defends itself against nothingness. When we come to know and accept the nothingness at the core, jealousy and the pain of obsessive attachment cease."
Link here to L-Z